I'm Tellin' My Mama!

This is to the parents that like to compare their lives to childless people. Just those ones - because I know a TON of great parents that respect my wishes to not have children, even though I love kids  (and have many nieces and nephews).

I am sorry that you feel the need to compare your life with kids to mine, without and think that my life is so glamorous.

I realize that to YOU, my life my seem like, "I can do what I want, whenever I want and my life is easy because I don't have to base it around children!"

Partially true - but only the basing it around children part.

On the flip side, to me (and some others) you sound like, "My life is hard and terrible because I made a CHOICE to have kids and now I want to make you feel like shit because of MY choices."

What's odd is that the parents I've seen say stuff like this - "Do YOU have kids?" .... "Oh, I guess you basically have no life because you don't have kids, therefore, can wake up whenever you want" (type of shit.. blah blah) go out and have a good time (traveling, bars, etc) WAY more than I do. In fact, I rarely go out and am kind of a homebody.

At the end of the day though, I tend to laugh at comments made by people like this, simply because what they don't understand is that, even though I'm not a parent, I was raised by two.

And my mom is a perfect example of "Parent". If I ever became a parent, I would set my standards as a mom so high, given my own mom's achievements and accomplishments with us. I would probably disappoint myself.

My mom raised five kids. She would have had six, but she lost her first one at 19. She was a stay-at-home mom until I was roughly 3-4 (I am the youngest) and then when my dad was laid off, she found work on her own. My father was also an alcoholic in the younger stages of my life, so she dealt with that as well.

Not only did she find work, but she eventually became part owner of a business. And she would still come home after 5pm, cook dinner, do laundry, etc. And never once complained. She also never made us feel guilty for being around or left us in a hot car on a summer day or went out drinking to drown her sorrows. Because we were her life - and that was her choice.

I am a stronger woman because of my mother. She raised me well and I will never have any regrets about not saying certain things to her while she's alive because I tell her everything. I love her, she knows it and she knows that she has been an amazing mother (though it's nice to hear again, right Mom??)

So my apologies if I can't grasp how you feel as a parent because of how I was raised. I know it's stressful - it's a full time job! But why must you make childless people - especially women, because not all can HAVE children, thank you - feel like shit because you're schedule is messed up?

Being a parent is a tough job, but should be a proud accomplishment on any resume, not something to use against childless women to make them feel inadequate and lazy.

I love you all but please, let's stop judging. You may not mean to, but it hurts.

Also - I love you, Mom. <3 p="">

Diet Shmiet.

I have a sandwich bag filled with celery, carrots, and cherry tomatoes with a small cup of Ranch dressing. I pull it out and open the bag and look up to see people staring at me. I can read it in their eyes: 'That's what you're going to eat?!'

I carefully choose a celery stick and take a hard, crunchy bite out of it.

Yes - this is what I'm choosing to eat.

The above is a sample scenario of what I've encountered when I'm watching what carbs I choose to put in my body.

Maybe it's because I don't weigh 300+ lbs or maybe it's the amounts of processed foods a lot of Americans tend to eat (myself included), but I can't seem to wrap my head around why anyone would gawk in awe at vegetables. Is it that uncommon? I have a lot of friends that have gardens, so why on earth would this be an issue at all?

Diet
1. The kinds of food that a person, animal or community habitually eats.

I hate that word. "Diet" ... Ew.

The thing is, we are all on our own forms of a diet - if someone chooses to eat at Burger King every other day, that is their chosen diet. Sometimes I'm on a pasta and pizza kick, which would be my chosen diet.

If I could add up the amounts of processed and sugary foods I've eaten in my life, you'd probably wonder how I'm still alive. I can eat a lot of grown men under the table! (Not that I'm proud of-- No, no. I AM proud of that!)

But I find it shocking that out of everything I've ever eaten, the one food group I'm stared at over are vegetables.

I'm not here to preach about what people should or shouldn't eat - I know vegans that shake their heads at my soda intake, I know a cool set of twins that are vegetarians/vegan that can't live without Redbull, and I know people that have to try every new fast food joint. This is all okay.

I just know what works for me to be healthy and feel better when I wake up in the mornings and that's  watching the amounts of breads and pastas and sugars and eating veggies, fruits, nuts, meats, etc.

So, what works for you? If it makes you happy and feel good, do it!

Your skin is darker than mine.

I have always felt strongly about the idea that we all derive from Africa, to some extent (my theory lies with Egypt, but that's a different blog).

This is why I think it's a good thing - great, even - to see African American men and women as very Pro-Black; proud of who they are and where they came from. I think we all should.

I am all for Civil Rights and fighting for everyone's rights as a people, but at the end of the day... I am white. I don't fully understand (and never will!) what it's like to be a Black woman in America. The racial slurs, the idea that one isn't "Black enough" because of skin being too light because of genetics or being bi-racial, the sting of being considered "TOO dark", having white women constantly want to touch your hair, just having to be THAT much stronger of a woman because of the color of your skin.

That is something I do understand: Being a woman. This blog is to celebrate ALL women, but especially the strong women of color.

 I've always felt like I didn't understand the saying, "I'm colorblind - I see no color, only humans." Before you say/think anything, let me just say that I get why one would say that. You're accepting of all. But let's face the facts: We ALL see what's in front of us, no matter how "blind" you claim to be. You see when someone has a bad tan job, just as much as you see the dark complected woman standing in front of you.

So why not celebrate it instead?

When I studied Costume Design and Textiles, I looked through multiple fabric weaves and colors. Oh, the colors! Deep crimsons, seafoam green, turquoise, silky ballet pink, velvety emerald green.... Or when I did a show set in the 1920s-30s, I used sepia tones: creamy beige, deep chocolate, caramel, jet black....

When I see skin color, I see beauty. I see flawless skin complexions, the color of ones hair to skin tone, and most of all - speaking as a woman - what colors look fabulous on what women!

There is one particular woman this past year that has stood out to me in so many ways - she makes me proud to be a woman (and she's a Pisces ;P) and when I see a photo of her, I can't help but be a bit more proud.

Lupita Nyong'o. (If you're not familiar with this woman, please look her up - She's a Kenyan actress who has starred in 12 Years a Slave and who'll play along side Liam Neeson in Non-Stop)

This woman could wear a burlap sack and still look like a queen. She appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live and even Jimmy said to her, "You look fantastic! I love that dress!"

I cannot wear yellow. My skin tone does NOT look good in yellows. At. All. I look washed out and gross.

Now, that's how you wear yellow! Her skin tone is rich and it makes any fabric/color she wears look equally rich.

You might remember her in this stunning red carpet dress:

Gaw-jees! (Lafayette Reynolds voice)

She knows how to carry herself well in an interview. She is all around stunning.

And we all see that her skin is dark. And it's beautiful.

Embrace yourself and your skin color, ladies. We are all beautiful and stunning in our own way! And before you decide to say that you're "colorblind", try to understand that some women choose to embrace their color fully and are very proud of who they are. They should be.