*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Alright. Sorry. I feel a bit better now.

Ex Mess

It's that time of year again - time for the Christmas movies to come out. I'm not really sure if I'm ready to hear "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!" 50 times yet. (BTW - does anyone want to explain to me why Santa is already at the mall?)

Honestly, I'm never ready to hear it. Ever. Which is why I pull out such gems as Black Christmas; Silent Night, Bloody Night and Jack Frost. Ahhh... They make me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Okay - there are a FEW (well, two) funny ones that I like and that are classics in my family: A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation. Mostly because these movies illustrate my family so well: the dad in Christmas Story yells as much as our dad, my brothers had BB guns, and my family is just as messed up as Clark Griswold's. 'Tis the season to be Merry ;) ("Well, that's my name!" "No shit.")

But we don't watch these movies because of the Christmas theme. We watch them because they're FUNNY. They could be centered around the 4th of July and we'd still watch them.

Last year, my mom and I made A Christmas Story X-Mas cookies - they were in the shapes of a leg lamp and Ralphie in his Easter bunny costume (I guess I could also make these for Jesus's death as well as his birth, huh? Kill two birds with one stone). They were quite extraordinary. I'm sure my neighbors were thrilled to get fishnet stockinged legs to eat. They were pretty yummy.

Worst. Show. Ever.

I love vampires. Especially the legend behind Dracula. LOVE me some Dracula. So naturally, I love to watch True Blood on HBO (vamps AND sex? Yum.) and I've even been sucked in to the Twilight Saga - both the books and the movie franchise. 

The CW network recently started a new series called Vampire Diaries that I figured I may try and watch while True Blood is between seasons. 

Holy CRAP. 

The acting sucks, the writing sucks, and it's pretty easy to tell by one episode that the only reason the show is even aired is because of all the vampire hype - and I'm sure the tweeny-boppers are making the ratings for this sorry excuse for a show sky rocket.

And the writing is taken from other shit! In one scene, the "lead" vamp is telling the "lead" chick that he can't see her anymore - for her own sake. "You should just hate me... forget about me.." So overly dramatic. 

For you Twilight fans out there - doesn't this sound a lot like a scene for... OH, gee, the next movie New Moon??

AND great - Now there's a show on the CW called Supernatural that's biting the style of the Heroes writers. 

WTF?? 

Can we simply get this network taken off the air? Not just the show; the whole fucking network.

Thank you for smoking

I've smoked for five years now. But on Friday, November 6, 2009 at 12:30 p.m. I quit. I quit for multiple reasons (mostly health issues that run in the family). But as a now non-smoker I would just like to say to my old fellow smokers:

SMOKE ON!! WOHOO!!

And smoke one for me too while you're at it.