Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I'm Tellin' My Mama!

This is to the parents that like to compare their lives to childless people. Just those ones - because I know a TON of great parents that respect my wishes to not have children, even though I love kids  (and have many nieces and nephews).

I am sorry that you feel the need to compare your life with kids to mine, without and think that my life is so glamorous.

I realize that to YOU, my life my seem like, "I can do what I want, whenever I want and my life is easy because I don't have to base it around children!"

Partially true - but only the basing it around children part.

On the flip side, to me (and some others) you sound like, "My life is hard and terrible because I made a CHOICE to have kids and now I want to make you feel like shit because of MY choices."

What's odd is that the parents I've seen say stuff like this - "Do YOU have kids?" .... "Oh, I guess you basically have no life because you don't have kids, therefore, can wake up whenever you want" (type of shit.. blah blah) go out and have a good time (traveling, bars, etc) WAY more than I do. In fact, I rarely go out and am kind of a homebody.

At the end of the day though, I tend to laugh at comments made by people like this, simply because what they don't understand is that, even though I'm not a parent, I was raised by two.

And my mom is a perfect example of "Parent". If I ever became a parent, I would set my standards as a mom so high, given my own mom's achievements and accomplishments with us. I would probably disappoint myself.

My mom raised five kids. She would have had six, but she lost her first one at 19. She was a stay-at-home mom until I was roughly 3-4 (I am the youngest) and then when my dad was laid off, she found work on her own. My father was also an alcoholic in the younger stages of my life, so she dealt with that as well.

Not only did she find work, but she eventually became part owner of a business. And she would still come home after 5pm, cook dinner, do laundry, etc. And never once complained. She also never made us feel guilty for being around or left us in a hot car on a summer day or went out drinking to drown her sorrows. Because we were her life - and that was her choice.

I am a stronger woman because of my mother. She raised me well and I will never have any regrets about not saying certain things to her while she's alive because I tell her everything. I love her, she knows it and she knows that she has been an amazing mother (though it's nice to hear again, right Mom??)

So my apologies if I can't grasp how you feel as a parent because of how I was raised. I know it's stressful - it's a full time job! But why must you make childless people - especially women, because not all can HAVE children, thank you - feel like shit because you're schedule is messed up?

Being a parent is a tough job, but should be a proud accomplishment on any resume, not something to use against childless women to make them feel inadequate and lazy.

I love you all but please, let's stop judging. You may not mean to, but it hurts.

Also - I love you, Mom. <3 p="">

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