Confused much?

First post on social media site:

UGH! If you're ugly, you need to stop posting shit about finding a man. For real. No one wants your ass.

Second post on social media site:

Man, fuck that bitch! I will fuck her UP the next time I see her!

Third post on social media site:

Jesus is my Lord and Savior! I am blessed to be alive!

......

.......

.......

Me:

( o . O )

If any of this looks even remotely familiar to you, you might want to get your priorities straightened out. Or just curse me out. (I honestly don't care. ROFLMAO)

Your post to me on social media site:

This bitch thinks she knows me! She can take her nasty ass and her blog and go f*(K herself.

Me:

Then:

Haaaaaa! Oh and:

Thank you and... God Bless :)

Fallen Comrade

“Our fallen comrade” - That’s what the men from the Veterans of Foreign Wars had called my father. Those words rang in my head for days. Fallen: He was now gone from our lives, no longer joking with us or fighting battle after battle, whether it be in Vietnam or with lung cancer. Comrade: He was very much a part of a lot of people, not just the VFW. They knew him as a soldier, we knew him as our father; my mother - her husband. Her companion. Her comrade in matrimony.

I felt numb during the Mass; it had been years since my siblings and I had attended and now it was at our dad’s funeral. We sat there, uncomfortable, not sure what to do but just follow the motions and the chants as we would when we were children. We were numb until those words were spoken.

The Veterans went outside. We heard authoritative shouts and then

*BOOM*

the first shot of the 3-volley salute sounded and my heart jumped. Seven men shooting off rifles were honoring my father.

My nostrils burned from the lingering smell of incense. I sniffed. My pulse was quickening, anticipating the other loud assaults on my eardrums. Seven rifles going off at once echoed through the giant Catholic Church.

*BOOM*

I felt tears starting to sting my eyes. I glanced over and saw my brothers hugging their wives, my sister, the oldest, was already distraught from giving the eulogy. My brother served in the Navy along with his wife. They were both tearing up and I knew at that moment that we all understood what this meant - for us, as well as my father. The intensity of the past week was pulled out of us by the shots being fired. Everything had happened so quickly that, only now, were we forced to feel the affects.

*BOOM*

And it was over. The 3-volley salute, the Mass, and my father’s funeral. His urn looked at us from the front, surrounded by the red, white, and blue flowers, with the rainbow floral arrangement that my sister and I fell in love with hugging him.

But there was something else; something rather significant that the ceremony needed that we knew was coming.

The men marched back inside the church and walked up to the front, turning to my mother, and explained that “This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service.” He handed her a folded flag, as well as a small red bag. He leaned close to her and told her that inside the bag she’ll find the shell casings from the 3-volley salute. I could see the wheels in my Mom’s head spinning. She wasn’t listening. She was probably trying to figure out where she could safely keep and show off the folded token of appreciation in her home.

These men, taking time out of their day to honor my father, someone they didn’t know but had a connection to through a brotherhood of sorts - the United States Army - reminded me that having strong bonds with people in your life is important. So very, very important. My dad had that bond with people, sometimes strangers. He’d joke and laugh with anyone. The times when I miss him the most is when I hear a joke that I think he’d find funny. His sense of humor was always his strong point.

I have changed drastically with my “Mentality on Friendship” since his death. My heart is wide open. If you want to be a part of my life, wonderful. Friendship is a beautiful thing. Life really is too short to take anything for granted. When I see someone mourning a loss, my main thought is that I hope they had the chance to tell that person how much they meant to them. My father and I became a lot closer in his last few years. I sometimes doubt my direction in life but I secretly know that, at the end of the day, Dad was proud of me.

If you are reading this, know that I love and respect you. You are obviously a part of my life somehow and, even if we’ve never met, you are reading a piece of me and I appreciate it. More than you know.

Life is beautiful, comrades.

Out to get me.

There is a stool at a coffee shop downtown that hates me. I always miscalculate just how much room there is to sit down. I'll usually sit there when I'm waiting for an order.

The first time startled the hell out of me so much that I swore everyone was staring at me.

There are two stools at a table - rectangular seats. A slight dip in them for your tush. (Remind me to never type that word again, let alone say it.) They look easy to sit in. Almost comfortable. Those are stools I would like in my house, I thought.

I go to sit down and --

*Note to readers: In my defense, the table was wobbly as hell. So much that I even looked down to make sure a leg wasn't missing.

-- I do the sit and slide, where you sit down on the edge and push yourself back. Yeah. What *looks* like a good amount of room to do the "sit and slide", is only about 8 inches of wood (..........smh...) and before I know it, I'm halfway off the stool, and about to slide backwards off of the damn thing.

Are you serious??

I try to look as casual as possible. Maybe I meant to slide back that far. I do a quick stretch and look around -- no one is staring that I know of. Thank goodness. How embarrassing.

I hate that stool.

But it's so inviting.

I sat in it again today.

Almost fell.

Again.

I promise I will master the skill of sitting on these stools before Summer --NO, Autumn. Before Autumn.

Congratulations...

...I'm a follower. Lame. -__-

Actually, I'm not ashamed. This is my first post in awhile. F that noise! I follow people.

...not creepy-follow. But I follow cool people. Yup. :)

....

....


..No. Still lame.

I Wants ta Be a Supah Hewo!

Do you ever feel as if you're searching for something too hard and too much? It's a bit like looking for your glasses and realizing that they've been on your head the whole time. Or searching for your car keys and realizing they were in your pocket the whole time - or right in front of you. 

I'm going through something similar - I'm searching for myself. I'm looking for what I want to be (... when I grow up ..). I have it narrowed down, of course, and I know what I'm good at and what I'm comfortable with, but there's also something that I've always wanted to do that I was never sure if I could or not.  

This may sound silly, but over the past couple of days, I started taking Career Placement Tests on-line. They confirmed what I've been telling myself. I don't know if I'm too stubborn to really listen or if I'm too scared to go for it. I've done many things for the first time before; why should this be any different?

Here are a few things I've done and that I'm pretty okay at:

1. Writing

2. Wardrobe Head/Theater

3. Making jewelry

4. Dancing

Now, here's a couple of things that I kinda, sorta, possibly, maybeokayIreallydo! want to pursue:

5. Make-up (SFX)

6. Forensic Science/Fed. agent

..... Yes, I'm hearing crickets. I thought so. Yes, I realize that number six doesn't quite fit in with my Artistic qualities above it. This is my obstacle. But obstacles are thrown in your way so you can build yourself up - become stronger. And along the way, learn who you are. 

"The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant." ~Plato

White Lies

What do you do when someone you love and trust isn’t completely honest with you? Are they trying not to hurt you? Do they think they’re sheltering you from the pain? Or do they know exactly what they are doing?



Hurt and pain is inevitable in life. The more you try to hide someone from that, the more they will eventually experience it in the future. Personally, I like to hear the truth, regardless of how it may make me feel at that moment. I will have much more respect for you in the end and we’ll come through it together, our friendship stronger than ever.



Maybe I come off as a weak person. This is not the case. I usually laugh at the things that my friends have come clean with in the past - especially when they think it’ll change the way I view them. Because my response is usually: “Trust me - I’ve heard much worse.”



In the end, it’s not just me you’re lying to - it’s yourself as well. Some people get so wrapped up in their lies that they end up believing it to be the full truth. Others are so torn up about it that they end up not knowing who they really are deep down, causing them to change the way they act.



Then there are those that are just full of betrayal and deceit. These people can be so good, that they can sweet talk the devil into eating his own toe nail clippings. I would love to believe that I have never met someone of this nature but lately it seems like that may not be the case.



I want someone to trust. I want to be trusted as well. By friends, by family, by lovers. I’m reminded of the episode of True Blood (aaahhhh TB philosophy!!) - Season 2, episode 11 - when Eric asks Sam: “Why should I trust you?” and Sam replies: “Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we’re all single targets, just ripe for the picking.”



I had a great discussion last night with three really good friends. Three guys that I have not met in person, but I have known online for close to seven years. And believe me - they are amazing. We banter, we bullshit, we make fun of each other; we’re like family. Because if someone messes with one of us, trust me, they will see the wrath of the other three.



Knowing I have friends like this, regardless of how we know each other, means the world to me. I had a tough time dealing with some friend/love/trust issues yesterday and they helped talk me through it. I also received some input from a couple other friends - for that, I am grateful.



So pull the shades away from your eyes and answer me: Why lie? At the end of the day, what do we both gain from it?

WTF??

What's with all the negativity on Facebook lately? Seriously folks. Calm it down. Start a blog like me if you want to bitch and moan about your life.